When You Were Drunk
by MyHeroRaven
Summary: When you are drunk I do not know you. When you are drunk I don’t want to know you. When you are drunk you are a stranger to me. Strangers can be dangerous. And in this case… deadly.


**Title: When You Were Drunk**

**Author: MyHeroRaven**

**Rating: M for suicide, cussing, violence, and other depressing stuff. **

**Summary: When you are drunk I do not know you. When you are drunk I don't want to know you. When you are drunk you are a stranger to me. Strangers can be dangerous. And in this case… deadly. **

**A/N: Imagine living in hell for an eternity. No one likes you. No one cares. Your friends do not understand. They are too busy with their own problems to care. Sharp pointed objects are your friends. Pain is your savior. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what it is like to be me? I pity you if you do. It hurts everyday. I pray that no one has to go through what I do. I live in the darkest depths of my mind. And it is not a happy place. My only escape is my writing. My words… my soul. Heaven bless pen and paper.**

**Another Note: By the way what looks like slash is NOT!!!!! There is no slash in this. Just really close friendship. I promise you. **

_**Italics: flashbacks.**_

'…'**: thoughts. **

"…"**: Conversation.**

**  
****Underlined****: This is when the main character (who shall be revealed at the end) is talking to a mysterious voice in his head. **

**Now on with the one-shot. **

**I hope you enjoy. **

**When You Were Drunk:**

Faded green eyes looked out into the dilapidated city. So beautiful yet so broken. How do they do it? People… how do they live each day with no fear of tomorrow? It is so hard. It is like I am a parasite on this gorgeous world. I make it ugly. I mess up when I try to do good. All I can do is bad. No one understands and I don't expect them to. I would be surprised if they did. I just get made fun of. Bullied. It is ironic that I am the joker of the team yet all the dirty jokes get played on me.

Just the other day I was made fun of.

"_Hey you guys wanna go out to eat?" I asked. I got laughter from the others. _

"_No. Why bother? You're just gonna argue with us about what to eat," said the oldest guy in the bunch. _

"_Yeah I swear sometimes I think you are a girl. Too afraid to eat manly food," said the other boy. _

"_Yes… you are going to do the embarrassing thing to us again when you ask for the 'special' menu friend," she said while putting mustard on whatever disgusting concoction she festered up today. _

"_I don't wanna lose my lunch again when you start to explain how they killed my food so that I could eat it. I don't need to hear the gory details," she explained while pulling her hood up and taking a sip of her tea. _

"_You need to grow up man. You are never gonna get a girl to go on a date with you. Imagine. Oh waiter I would like your fresh garden salad and an ice tea. Girly, girly, girly. You're still just a little boy… maybe even everywhere," said the robot while looking at my pants. I blushed and my head started to hurt as I got angry. _

"_I am a man!" I said indignantly. _

"_Just because I care about what I eat doesn't make me any less of a man that you two. Stop picking on me. Don't you ever get tired of it?" I asked in rage. _

"_Hmm… let me think. NO! It is so much fun to pick on you. You are the weakest of all of us. You are the smallest of all of us. You are the girliest of all of us. And you are the most worthless member of the team," said our good and honorable leader. _

I hated when they drank. The girls didn't drink that much but sometimes the guys would get them into it. I hated alcohol. It was one of the reasons why I was so weak.

They were drunk right now too. I didn't dare go bother them. They would just get angry again. But, sooner or later I am going to have to go to bed and to get to my room you have to go past the main hall.

"Great," I said as I made my way to the roof stairs. I descended the stairs quickly and made it to the main room.

'Ok if I just go through quickly maybe they won't notice me,' I thought. Boy was I wrong.

I started to run straight through the kitchen/ main room when all of a sudden I crashed into something larger than me.

"Hey where are you going at this time of night?" the 16-year-old asked me, his cape billowing behind him. I was too short to be able to see his face without looking up so I just stuck with looking at his cape.

"To bed let me past," I commanded quietly. I knew that I did something bad the second the word 'past' left my lips. I felt him grab my arm and squeeze it roughly.

"Owe let go that hurts!" I yelled. I was about to call out for the girls when I remembered they were out shopping. Midnight sale darn it. Just the two other boys were in tonight.

"Shut Up you stupid animal! I am trying to play my video game," The largest 18-year-old hollered. Last week was his birthday so now he was the oldest.

'Wow I just realized that he, my best friend, was older then me by 5 year. That is kinda funny,' I thought. I had just turned 13 6 months ago. It sucked being the youngest. That's because it meant that I was the smallest. I hated being small. It meant I was weak. Sometimes lethally too weak.

'Great, now both of them were mad,' I thought. I started to struggle with my leader but no go. He just squeezed tighter and tighter. It hurt so much and I didn't want to fight him. I know I would lose. I always did. But it seems that he was looking for a fight all along.

"You dare to resist me? You dumb worthless changeling," He said loudly.

"What is that mangy mutt doing now?" The mechanical dude asked.

"He is trying to get past me by force. He thinks he is stronger than me. Hey let's teach him a lesson," My masked friends said excitedly.

"No please you guys not tonight please," I all but begged. I heard footsteps as the tin man put down his controller and walked over. He grabbed my shirt by the collar and started to drag me out of the main room towards the gym. It always happened in the gym. Cyborg and Robin would always wanna fight me. Take me on. The girls did not know about this. They thought I got my injuries from battles with villains. And tonight the girls were out and the two older boys wanted to play… with me.

"Not so tough now are you little boy?" Robin said harshly.

"Robin, Cy please stop you are drunk you don't know what you are doing," ok now I was begging.

But only because they really didn't know what they were doing. When they weren't drunk they were fine. When they weren't drunk they were my best friends. I don't know if they ever remember that they hurt me when they become sober the next day. But, if they do then they never show it. I don't even know why they drink. Super Heroes should not drink. We were supposed to be setting an example for kids and everyone else in Jump City. The girls go really mad at them when they drank. But, then sometimes they would join them. I was the only one that did not succumb to peer pressure. Although, that doesn't mean that they didn't try to get me drunk with them.

"_Come on it is time for a drink," Robin said angrily while grabbing onto my neck and pulling me over to him. With a strong force Robin forced me into his lap so he could get a better grip. With one arm around my waist and the other holding a beer can he had Cyborg hold my mouth open. _

"_NO STOP I DON'T WANNA DO THIS! ROBIN CYBORG PLEASE STOP. LET GO!" I screamed. Robin was hurting me. He was squeezing my stomach so hard that I thought I was going to throw up. And Cyborg was coming dangerously close to breaking my jaw. The beer was getting closer. I could not drink it. I swore that after the accident I wouldn't drink. Not ever again. So I did the one thing I could do. I transformed into a hawk and flew to my bedroom. _

_Later that night they came banging on my door. I flew out the window and spent the night in the park. I did that a lot when they were drunk. _

"Oh I think we know exactly what we are doing. Come on just play along we won't hurt you… much," Robin said sadistically. He always said that and it always hurt like hell. Why me? I am there best friend yet they hurt me. Is it just because they are bored. No it is because they are drunk. I hate it.

Soon we arrived at the gym. I was thrown roughly to the unforgiving concrete floor. My face hit it hard though nothing broke. My arm hurt really badly. I looked down at it and saw that it was almost all black. I didn't have time to be angry because Robin and Cyborg were getting dangerously close. Way way too close.

I backed up as far as I could. But, my back had found the stone wall.

"I think I will go first," said Cy.

"Be my guest. I can be last… you know what they say save the best, or in this case _worse_, for last," Robin smiled evilly and moved into the shadows of the room.

Cyborg was getting closer. He grabbed my wrist and shoved the ring on it. Ahhh the ring… good memories. NOT! Whenever we did combat practice Robin would put the ring on the fighter. It prevented us from using our powers. We had to use strength and strength alone. This always meant that I lost.

"Cy please stop this is not you," I whispered bravely. He smiled at me and I thought for a nanosecond that I was off the hook when…

SNAP!

"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!" I screamed as my wrist snapped.

"LET GO! LET GO! LET GO MY WRIST! CYBORG GET THE FUCK OFF!" I screamed even louder. I was in so much pain and I was going to pay for cussing at him.

Cyborg became enraged and flung me from his grasp. I went rolling on the floor and I heard something else crack. But, at the moment I didn't have time to play Sherlock Holmes and try to figure out what it was. I got into a fighting stance and readied myself for the next blow. I was disappointed.

BAM! I was thrown again. And once again I was laying face down on the concrete my left arm at a weird angle. I felt my shirt lifted as I was picked up off the floor. Cyborg looked me in the eyes and then punched me straight in the gut. I grabbed his fist and threw it away from me as I doubled up in pain. He came at me again and this time I got him. I winded my arm back and socked him in the eye. It is only fair I have a blackened arm so now he gets a blackened eye. An eye for an eye and a man for a man.

I wasn't really worried about his fight. It was the next fight I was worried about. Sure Cyborg was my best friend but over the years Robin and I had become much much closer. He was there for me when the accident occurred.

"_CAN YOU HEAR ME? COME ON PLEASE WAKE UP MOVE DO SOMETHING!" Robin was screaming. I think he was close by yet he sounded a lifetime away. _

_I wish I hadn't gone to that stupid party. I drank 6 glasses of beer. It was the cool thing to do all my friends had so I did to. Like they say if all your friends jumped off a bridge would you? No. but I would drink beer until I puked and then I would walk home. I didn't see that car coming. _

_Robin had offered to pick me up but I said no. He was not happy. But I was. I was in lala land. I was so drunk that I walked right into the middle of the street. A sixteen wheeler hit me head on. _

Man I still have a head ache from that.

And who had been the one to help me through it all? Emotionally and physically? Robin. Robin had been the one to pull me out of the wreckage. Robin had been the one to take me to the hospital. And Robin had been the one that sat by my side the whole time. My left leg had been crushed and I suffered a concussion. With reconstructive surgery my leg was fixed and in 8 months I was my old self. But my leg still hurts when I run and move. The doctor said it always would.

Robin also helped me with training. He knew the extent of my injury and he knew just how to push me. Robin was my best friend. He was the one I cried on all throughout those months.

The doctors… they said that I would never walk again. But look at me now! Walking… well right now I am limping. Cyborg just threw me into the door by swinging my leg and 'accidentally' letting go.

I screamed again. Man am I wimpy. Screaming like a little girl. Weak, pathetic, and worthless. Yep that's me.

Cyborg was breathing hard. The beer was getting to him. Yep here it comes.

"Hey Rob it's your turn I'm gonna go lay down," Cyborg then departed the room of doom. I almost laughed aloud… room of doom. Funny. Anyway…

I actually started to tremble as Robin, Nightwing, Dick, Boy Wonder, my leader, my fucking best friend, made his way out of the shadows to beat me to a pulp.

He had this savage look in his eyes. Hunger. I have seen it before. It reminded me of the Beast. The thing inside of me. I get to face it again and I get to lose again. Robin was much worse that Cyborg. He was vicious, sadistic, and perverted when he was drunk. It hurt when Robin did this. It friggin hurt emotionally. I care about him so much. I care about all my friends. But, Robin was like my big brother. He always has my back. He means the world to me.

When people turned me away for being a channeling and for being a green freak Robin took me in. He cared. I could be rainbow colored and a werewolf and Robin would still look after me. But, now when he is drunk. When he is drunk I do not know him. He is not Robin anymore. He is a stranger and I am not supposed to talk to strangers.

"You know what is ironic little kitten?" Robin asked in a deadly whisper.

"…" I mumbled something incoherent.

"What? Speak up little critter," He was ordering me now.

"No," I said louder.

"That's better. What is ironic is the fact that I taught you how to fight yet you still can't," He was strutting. He was always strutting. Like he owned the world. Like nothing could stop him. Hell, nothing was brave enough to even try.

"Yes I ca-" I stopped myself. Uh-oh.

"What was that little angel?" I visibly shuddered.

'Stop calling me angel!' I thought. Robin got kinda weird when he was drunk. I hope he remembers that he is dating Starfire. Please remember…

"Nothing Robin… I am weak I can't fight you," I said in Raven's monotone.

'I won't fight you Robin. You are my best friend. I'll take everything you throw at me and I'll get up and face you like a man. But, I won't fight. I don't hurt _my_ friends,' I thought.

"Damn straight," Robin whispered into my ear.

The next thing I knew I was being punched in the gut. And I just kinda stood there… well hung there. I was resting on Robin's fist. Something warm was trickling down my chin. I went to wipe the stuff of my face when Robin grabbed my hand with one hand and my neck with the other. He held me up and I just looked at him, straight in the eyes. Or straight in the mask whichever you chose. Doesn't matter. I was now 4 feet off the ground.

'Wow Robin has grown tall. I never noticed how tall he was before.'

"Do you like pain? Are you a sick nasty masochist little angel?" Robin asked spitting saliva with every word.

"No… but I endure it. I take your pain because I don't mind it," I whispered.

"Well before the night is through you _will_ mind me," He spat.

"Whatever you say Robin," now I was starting to sound pathetic. This is so not good. Why am I obeying him?

'Psst… ' a little voice whispered in the back of my head.

'I know why you aren't fighting him,'

'Tell me. Please tell me what is wrong with me,' I asked desperately.

'He is your friend… you love him. And sadly, you have given up. You're tired of fighting him. You're tired of this life.'

'I've given up.'

'I'm tired,'

'Just so tired of this life.'

'Yes you are.'

'Robin is really strong. He just threw me into the wall. Head first. Now I know what that warm liquid was. Blood. Great I'm bleeding. Well as long as nothing brea-'

CRASH!

'Too late.'

'Yep really too late there goes my 4 of my fingers. Great now I can't play piano.'

"_I still don't understand why you want a piano. But, if that makes you happy then alright," Robin said while sitting at the table reading the paper. _

_The next day I woke up and rolled down to breakfast. I still had my wheel chair. It had been 4 months since the accident and I had been getting really bored. There was nothing to do anymore. I couldn't fight crime… at least not yet. And I had already won every game we have. I couldn't go for my long walks in the park anymore. And rarely did I ever see the out doors. I wasn't even aloud on the roof. _

_When I got to the main room there was no one there. However, there was a note on the table. _

_I read aloud: "Hey man wheel your self to the top level and stop at the roof entrance."_

_It was signed Cyborg. _

_I was a little upset that I had to go all that freakin' way but, I did none the less. _

_When I got to the stairs I saw Raven and Starfire. They both smiled and lifted me out of my wheel chair and to the roof door. _

"_Ok now close your eyes," Star said. _

"_What…why?" I asked._

"_Just do it," said Raven in her usual annoyed monotone. _

_So I did. _

_I felt myself flying through the air and then being seated on some kind of a bench or something. _

"_Ok dude now open your eyes," I heard Cy say. _

_And I dd. _

_What I saw almost made me cry. It was the most beautiful grand piano I had ever seen. It was perfect in every way. It was shiny and polished nicely. But, the coolest part was right above the keys. You know where they usual put the maker's name. There was no maker's name but instead my name had been placed there in silver letters. All my friends knew that I loved silver and hated gold. It was the best present anyone's ever given me. _

"_This is the best present that anyone's ever given me," I whispered quietly. _

"_Well you deserve it," Robin said as he walked up to me and my new piano. _

"_Now, we've arranged for you to have lessons and the person will be here on-" but Robin stopped when he saw what I did next. _

_I moved my bench closer to the piano and I opened it. Then I proceeded to play my favorite song: Sonata Pathetique. I played through all 7 pages from memory and I didn't make a single mistake. When I finished I closed my eyes and I heard all my friends clapping loudly. _

"_Wow I had no idea that you could play," said Raven._

"_Yeah dude that's pretty sweet," yelled Cy. _

"_Oh yes friend that was most entertaining," Star said enthusiastically. _

"_I should've known," that was all Robin said. He then proceeded to pat me on the back while requesting Moonlight Sonata. I performed it perfectly once again. _

I hissed in pain as I tried to reset the breaks in my fingers. But Robin just couldn't let me have any satisfaction.

"Sorry but I don't think you should play that damn piano anymore. It gives me a headache," Robin said _jokingly_.

"Then don't listen," I said _seriously_.

That got me a black eye, a swollen lip, and a raging headache.

Robin then proceeded to punch me in the stomach again and again and again and a… you get the picture. Well I hope you get the picture because I am certainly not drawing/ spelling it out for you.

"W…O…R… T… H… L… E… S… S…" Robin spelled for me. Wow… I didn't know he was that intelligent.

After he let go of me I started to crawl away. I was tired, bleeding, and everything hurt. But, Robin just couldn't let go of me… literally. He grabbed my ankle and started to swing me around and around. Then he so nicely let go. My back slammed into the door which collapsed on top of me.

'Ok now if I can just get to my room and crawl out the window then I'll be safe,' I thought. And I proceeded to. Robin was being extra scary, vicious, and cruel tonight. Oh and add to that a side of creepy.

I started to run down the hall and then it hit me. I can't get out my window. For one Robin had it sealed. He started to catch onto how I got out at nights. Secondly I can't get the stupid power stealing ring off. You need a key.

'Just peachy,' I thought.

'Why isn't Robin getting tired like Cy?' I thought. He should've passed out a long time ago. But, then I spotted my answer. In the kitchen I found 6 bottles of vodka and Smirnoff. That's a lot of booze. Robin was different then most people when it came to the affect of alcohol on his body and mind.

For one thing Robin got mean. And I mean mean. Vicious. He was volatile when he was drunk. Another thing is that alcohol worked the same way caffeine does. It kept him up and going and then he would crash.

I learned over time how to tell how much alcohol it takes to keep him up and going for so long. For example: one bottle of vodka equals 6 hours of hyper, angry, and violent Robin. So that means 6 bottles of vodka equals 36 hours of hyper, angry, and violent Robin.

I kept running. Robin started drinking before Cyborg did. Come to think of it he started drinking yesterday. Oh wow I'm officially screwed.

I wish the girls would get back soon.

I had to keep running so I did. I knew Robin was close behind me. And that was really bad.

The roof.

That was my goal.

Darn it.

My leg was hurting again. And when it started to hurt it only got worse. My leg got me into a lot of trouble during battles.

"_Damn it can't you move any faster," Robin yelled as I started to slow down. _

_Cinderblock was running after us and fast. The other Titans were on the far side of town dealing with Overload. So it was just me and Robin. Needless to say Robin was getting fed up with the fact that I couldn't keep up._

"_I'm trying Robin it's my le-" _

"_Don't tell me: your leg again right?" He spat. We were both stressed out so Robin was getting kinda grumpy. _

_Just then Robin turned in anger. I think he was bout to yell at me when he saw something that made his heart stop. Not even slow… it friggin stopped. At least that's what he told me latter. _

_Cinderblock had just picked me up and threw me into a brick building nearby. I kinda stuck to the wall for like two seconds then I went tumbling to the ground. To top it all off the wall I just hit came crashing down upon me. I saw it as it fell. It was just this massive wave of stone and debris. _

_Thank God it didn't hit my leg. However, it did hit every other part of me. That is except my head, left arm, and left leg. I didn't even scream I just kinda groaned. Cinderblock took this opportunity to run away while Robin came running towards me. I remember that he screamed my name 4 times throughout the whole fiasco. Robin somehow got himself under the stone that hit me. I'm really lucky that it wasn't the whole wall. It was just a chunk of it. _

_Robin started to try and heave the rock off of me. I looked at him and his face was turning red from the strain. I really see Robin's true self when I look at him now. His urgency to save a friend he was just yelling at. Underneath it all Robin is a pure heart. He was so worried about me. _

"_Robin I'm sorry. I am so sorry I was too slow. He got away. I'm sorry," I started to sob. Tears were running rivulets through the dirt and dust on my face. I felt so bad. _

"_If I was just a little faster. Like you said I was too slow. I'm sorry about my leg. I'll quit the Titans. I'm useless now. You can replace me with someone better. Someone faster and stronger. Robin I'm just so so so sorry," now I was really crying. Full out wailing. _

"_Shhh… " Robin said. He found my hand and held it gently. The pain was starting to numb, and I couldn't figure out if that was good or bad. _

"_You're not quitting the Titans. We just have to work a little harder. You're an important asset and irreplaceable," said Robin. He leaned down and gently kissed my forehead. It was nice. It reminded me that he was there and that I wasn't alone. Robin really did care about me. And that meant the world over to me. _

Robin had held most of the weight that day. It took 7 hours for the Titans to finish off Overload and come and find us. I got out of the ordeal with just some broken ribs and a snapped wrist. After that Robin did work with me on my training. We worked long and hard hours. And I got better.

I can see my destination now. I just have to get up those stairs and then I can climb down the escape ladder.

'He never used to get drunk. Why did he have to start? You'd think that after he almost lost me in the accident he would stay far away from alcohol. But, that's not how it worked out.'

It all happened after Slade attacked once. The fight wasn't even that special. Slade was just robbing a bank. I swear sometimes I think criminals just commit crimes because they're bored or something. Well, I think that Robin got bored or 'something' one night and tried it. Then it kinda stuck. He just got really drunk after fighting Slade. The funny part is that this was the closest we've ever come to catching Slade. I think Robin felt that victory was just so close then ripped out from beneath him.

'Life's unfair Robin, you have to learn that.'

I'm on the roof now and I can hear him coming. He sounds mad and vengeful. I quickly make my way over to the escape ladder. However, the moment I put one leg over the edge so that I can climb I feel myself being yanked back. I'm looking into electric blue eyes. Wait blue eyes? Robin's mask is off. His eyes would be beautiful if they weren't so angry looking. 

"You thought you could run angel but you can't. Remember your leg? You can't get away because of that lame leg. I hate that leg. It's the reason Slade got away two days ago, why he got away 3 weeks ago, and every time he's gotten away since your 'accident,'" Robin said fiercely.

Robin tossed me to the ground ruthlessly. He then began to kick me in the gut. My groans seemed to fuel his fire… his rage.

"AND… DO… YOU… KNOW… WHAT… ELSE… I… HATE…?" Robin asked between kicks. He stopped kicking me and I tried to get up. I couldn't so he helped me up by grabbing my neck and pulling my ear to his lips.

"I… hate… you," he whispered. With each word he squeezed my neck harder.

When Robin said that something clicked in my mind. Something made sense that didn't make sense before. I realize that it's now my chance to be brave! To finally stand up to him once and for all. He needs to understand what he does to me when he's like this. I don't deserve to be treated this way. I stared at him and I remembered everything he had ever done to me.

Every word he screamed. Every time he hit me. Every time he made fun of me. Every time he hurt me. Every time he broke me. And every time he was ever drunk. He was only bad when he was drunk. He only said mean things when he was drunk.

"No you don't," I choked out.

"You don't hate me. It's the alcohol that's making you say that. It's not you Robin. Please can't you see? I'm your friend," I whispered.

"SHUT UP YOU STUPID WORTHLESS CREATURE!" He screamed.

"YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME! NOTHING AT ALL! I HATE YOU! I COULD KILL YOU AND IT WOULDN'T BOTHER ME IN THE SLIGHTEST! I DON'T NEED YOU I DON'T WANT YOU! YOU'RE A BURDEN! YOU'RE WORTHLESS! YOU ALWAYS MESS UP! THE TEEN TITANS WOULD BE BETTER OFF WITHOUT YOU!" Robin shrieked.

"Is that really how you feel Robin? Is that the truth?" I asked quietly.

"Yes it is," he answered just as quietly. He looked different all of a sudden. Like he had this horrible task to do and he didn't want to do it.

Robin loosened his grip on my neck and walked me over to the edge of the tower. He stood on the ledge and held me by the shirt. He looked into my eyes. I couldn't see any regret. In fact I couldn't see anything. He was emotionless.

"Angel do you know what's really ironic?" Robin asked me. I knew what he was going to do and it made me mad. I was so hurt by what he was going to do. I couldn't believe it.

"Yeah… what's really ironic is that my leader just beat me up. What's ironic is that my Hero wants to hurt me. What's ironic is that I was the first one out of all the friggin Titans to drink and now you all drink and you can't stop. What's ironic is that my best fucking friend has me dangling off the roof and is about to kill me! What's ironic is that you could toss me off this building and I would forgive you. I love you Robin you're my best friend. I can't hate you. Hate is just a word for someone you love but no longer believe in. Robin I still believe in you even after all the times you've hurt me. I still FUCKING LOVE YOU!" I said tears running down my face and clouded eyes.

Robin looked at me and smiled. Not a cruel smile a natural smile. A sincere Robin smile.

"No. what's ironic is that you're my little Angel. You're broken and wingless. And now you're falling," Robin let go as he whispered 'falling.'

Robin… he let go.

'Stranger why did you let me go? Why did you hurt me? Why Stranger? I am crying Stranger. Do you know that? You made me cry. I don't know you anymore. You're a stranger. You were never my leader. You were never my best friend. You were never my Hero. You were never anything to me when you were drunk

"Goodbye stranger," I whispered.

'I never knew you when you were drunk.'

The darkness took me.

**WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD**

I saw a white light… for about 5 seconds. All of a sudden I opened my eyes. I was in the infirmary.

'How on Earth did I get here? I thought I died,' I thought. I sat up rapidly.

"It's ok," came a voice from the shadows.

'Hello stranger.'

I started to shake. I couldn't stop. He was here. Why was he here?

"Raven saved you. She caught you right before you hit the ground. Look I'm sorry. I'm getting help. What I did to you… it's never going to happen again," Stranger said in one breath.

I almost laughed.

"You actually remember everything that you did?" I asked in shock and amazement.

"I always do," he said.

"If you _always_ do then why do you _always_ do it again and again and agai-"

"I get it," he said.

"I don't know why. I've tried to stop before but it never seems to work."

"So what makes this time any different?" I asked.

"You. I hurt you so-"

"You _always_ hurt me,"

"Yeah, but I tried to kill you. I said things to you that weren't true. I went too far."

"You went to far the _first_ time you got drunk and beat me," I said raising my voice.

"Each time is just as bad. You just feel guilty. But, I told you up on the roof that no matter what you do I'll always forgive you," I said.

"I just don't wanna see you get hurt Robin," 'stranger' tears began to well in my eyes so I looked down. I realized that I was all patched up… nearly completely healed. I could move all my fingers and my wrist. My waist was bandaged and so was my head.

I felt strong arms surrounded my waist. Robin was holding me and he was crying too. Completely sobbing uncontrollably. It took a few seconds but I finally embraced him back.

'I'm resolute. It doesn't matter anymore. One way out. Just one. If he does it again there is only one way out.'

I was rubbing his back while he broke down. Irony pops its head into my life once again. I was comforting the person that just tried to kill me. Lovely.

"It's my fault. I don't wanna see _you_ get hurt. You're the one I care about. I swear no more drinking just for you. I swear it. I swear," Robin sobbed.

'Stranger is gone.'

**WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD**

**1 month later:**

'Welcome back stranger.'

It's only been one month. I knew it wouldn't last.

His fist finds its way into my gut. I cough up blood. We're in my room this time. He's breaking all my stuff.

"I love you little Angel," He says sweetly. More like bittersweet.

He places a kiss on my lips. He's finally crossed a line.

You know you have to do it. There's no other way. It'll never get better. He's slowly killing you. 

'I know.'

"Robin NO! Stop right NOW!" I yelled.

Punch.

"Go ahead hit me Robin. I DON'T CARE ANYMORE! YOU ARE A LIAR YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO CHANGE! I GIVE UP ON YOU," I screamed.

"I am sorry that I made you mad. I am just so sorry. Please Robin tell me what I did wrong. I want to fix it!" I begged.

You just looked at me with disgust and said: "Well you can't."

The fight somehow made its way out into the hall. By the staircase. The staircase that is where it happened.

"Robin stop please you're drunk," I cried.

'When you are drunk you hurt me Robin.'

He hurts you

I turn around and that is when I think it happened. I was shoved backwards and now I'm laying here. I can't really remember. My head hurts.

'I'm leaving.'

"Why? Why did you have to hurt me?

What did I ever do to you? You were so angry. _You STUPID THING GET UP!_

You just shoved me down those stairs. You left me here. But you laughed when you left. _Weak little boy… did you have a little tumble?_

What's so funny? I wanna know what is so funny? I wanna be let in on the joke?

Why won't you tell me? Maybe the joke is about me. Yes that must be it.

You can hurt my feelings I do not mind. I am sorry for whatever I did. _IT IS ALL YOUR FAULT! YOU LET SLADE GET AWAY! YOU ALWAYS LET HIM GET AWAY!_

And I am sorry for not remembering.

You see I have this terrible headache _I was falling down the stairs. You pushed me. I am surrounded in all my blood. My head is bashed in _and everything is going dark

I am sorry that you will be in trouble because you hurt me.

If I was there I would tell them it was not your fault it was mine. _Don't blame Robin Titans. He was just a little drunk. _

I must have done something wrong. I always do something wrong. _It is not his fault. It's mine. I am annoying and should die anyways._

I'm sorry for ever breathing. But I wish I could breathe now.

But, sadly my lungs just won't fill. Hey, I think I am remembering why you hurt me.

You said… you said some kind of words. I think you were mad. _"I HATE YOU… YOU AR... ARE… WORTH… WOTHLESS… YOU SHOULD… DIE… BECAUSE… YOU… EXIST."_

That was it. You pushed me because I existed. I am sorry for existing.

You are almost gone.

'_Goodbye little Angel… it is time for you to find your wings and fly.'_

'_Worthless'_

'_Weak'_

'_Stupid'_

'_I HATE YOU!'_

I'm… **Cough…**

'Why Leader? Why do you **bully** on me when you are drunk?'

I'm… **Choke…**

'Why Friend? Why do you **scream** at me when you are drunk?'

I'm… **Gasp…**

'Why Hero? Why do you **hurt** me when you are drunk?'

I'm… **Gag…**

'Why Stranger? Why do you **hate** me when you are drunk?'

I'm… **Splutter…**

'Why Robin? Why did you **kill** me tonight when you were drunk?'

I'm… sorry…" **Darkness**

'I think it was because you were drunk.'

When he was drunk.

'When you were drunk.'

**WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD♥WYWD**

**Garfield Mathew Logan**

**Beast Boy**

**1/12/90-8/4/2003**

**A Teen Titan**

**A True Friend**

**Laughter in the Saddest Of Times**

**A Hero in the Best Of Times**

**An Angel That Found His Wings**

**NEW POV:**

'I keep staring at his headstone. He's gone. It's my fault. I did it when I was drunk. All my fault. I have to go. I think it is time to say goodbye.'

**REGULAR POV:**

And Robin did.

That night Robin raised a toast to Beast Boy and got drunk again.

The day after Beast Boy's funeral Robin was found in Beast Boy's room on his bed. His wrists were slit and he was holding a picture of him and Beast Boy in his left hand and a glass of vodka in his right.

Robin and Beast Boy both left the Teen Titans.

Robin and Beast Boy both said goodbye.

**HEAVEN NEW POV:**

I was walking down this road today. It was beautiful a field stood next to it. The next thing I knew I was running in the field.

'I miss you.'

I stopped in the center and held out my hands. My eyes were closed and tears were falling.

'So much.'

"Hello stranger," someone said.

The someone that just said that grabbed my hand tightly and wiped a tear away from my face. I stared into blue eyes.

'Beautiful eyes.'

"Hello Robin," I whispered.

Robin wrapped his arms around my midsection and just held me.

I held him back.

"I love you Beast Boy. You're my best friend. I am sorry that I hurt you."

"I love you too Robin and I forgive you," I said.

'When you are _not_ drunk.'

Time froze for us forever. Best friends forever. We never left each others side. Everything stopped and turned white.

Then I knew no more.

**P.S. What I just wrote is the best thing I have ever written. I love it so much. I really spoke from my heart and I would like to know what you think of it. I cried when I was writing this. I hope it wasn't too sad. If I made you cry I'm sorry. And if sucked I'm really sorry. But, I love it. Remember this is NOT SLASH!!!!! It is just friendship. **

**Thank you for reading.**

**-Hero Out-**


End file.
